And then I met this guy. He is all kinds of wonderful. He's got it all. He's kind, hard-working, loves God, has his own business, own house, own car, is geeky, and is a blast to spend time with. And he's attractive to boot. And I like him. And he likes me.
And we can't be together.
It's too complicated. Life is complicated, work is busy, and it won't work. The result of our last conversation was: this was nice, 'we' are nice, but it doesn't work. Life doesn't let it work. The timing is wrong. And that's all true.
It makes my heart sore to think that it can't work. It's so much easier to end when there are more things wrong. At least if there was a disagreement, or there were something wrong, or somehow else it wasn't a fit. It almost makes it worse that so much of it seemed to work, and so little of it doesn't.
But that "little" is an important "little" that outweighs the rest.
I don't really think that these things are "fated." I don't believe in soul mates or that God has just one person in mind for anyone. But in times like this, I can't help but think that it just "wasn't meant to be." If it could work, it would work.
But it doesn't, and I guess that is that.
This is a new hurt for me. I'm not heart broken, just sad. It's unfortunate. It's a pain.
And now I get to get back to the playing field and try again. I get to experience new awkwardness (ever had a conversation about mixed martial arts for an hour? I have.), new excitement, and new disappointment. All for that hope that somewhere out there, there's a fit. The right guy. A spark. Good timing. One time, it'll work. I have hope.
But meanwhile, it just sucks. I hate this. I hate these hard situations.
But this is love, right? Beautiful, complex, difficult, exciting. It's all a part of living life.
So I'll take it in stride, pick it all up, and keep on living. On to the next.
