Wrestlessness

I feel like running away.

Every time I start to get comfortable, a small but strong sense of strange restlessness begins.

What if I just drive up to Washington?  Straight into the beautiful wilderness and exquisite cities there.  Leave everything here behind and start something new?  Something great.  Something big.  Something freeing.

That whole thought flashes through my mind as a feeling in less than a second, and as quickly as it came, my sanity turns it back around.  Of course I can't leave.  Of course I don't even want to leave.  The friends, the familiarity, the skills I'm all building - I love all that.

Right?

Maybe it's a part of who I am, because this is all very familiar.  Every time anything settles at all, I feel this.  Exactly this.  Like something deep down isn't okay with normalcy, like the rest of me is.  Like something in me needs to stretch it's cramped legs and take a run through the great unknown to be satisfied.  Like something just can't quite handle sitting still or focusing or breathing for an extended period of time.

And like usual, this strange feeling will pass in a week or so and I'll move on.  

Because afterall, I don't even know what I'd be running from.