It's so nice when the Holy Spirit makes it first nature to be loving at patient with people.  It really, really sucks to turn it back to that when it's not your first reaction.

This morning started off just fine.  Made myself an americano, got to work on time, and everything was good.

And then it exploded.

Question after question after question about the conference I'm planning.  People are mad, people are unhappy, and that's all I hear. Issues with just about every plan for the conference.  And everyone is stressed.

And somewhere in the middle of it all, I lost my patience.  I lost my cool.

I'm generally calm, pretty stoic.  God has blessed me with a lot of patience and peace, and I love it.

Where did it go?  In all of the bustle and frustration, I've lost it.  I lost my ability to be loving and patient.  Where is the Holy Spirit, nudging me to keep my cool and exude the fruits if a life turned to God?

And then I came home to a letter, on the fridge.  And it got worse.

I'm over it.  I'm so over it all.

And I've lost my ability to be patient and loving as a first response.  That's the worst part.